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Friday, July 29, 2011

What my Father Never taught me...

Do you read the newspapers?

I have given up, I just don't see the point!

EVERY damn time I flip through the newspaper - All I see is theft, crime, rape, murder, death, beating, cheating, racketeering, corruption, lies, sex, scandal, leaks, stings, links, terror, extortion, kidnapping, fighting, in-fighting, mud sledging, slapping, shoe throwing, war, famine, inflation, bankruptcy, law suits, .......

Bored already? So am I.

EVERY damn time.
Just makes me wonder, do I really live in this same world? Do I want to CONTINUE living in this world?
Do I want to bring another Human Being in this World?
Is this World?
Is this Life?

I am lost there, for a few moments.

I take a pause, try to focus on my Life.
My minuscule little tiny existence in this vast planet.

A Nobody.
A plankton in the lake (pun intended).

My world, my Life.
An odd profession, that though has a renowned & respected suffix, comes with its own baggage of queer looks an quizzical expressions.
A segment that is struggling to find its spot between art & science. Between main stream & alternative.
Comprising of people struggling to find peace, security & I am not exactly sure what they intend to achieve with all the rivalry & pain in the backside backstabbing, bickering, name calling, dirty linen & mocking.
Is it Ultimate Supremacy?
For What?

Again I am lost.

I look up from my bean bag to stare into the eyes of my father, reading his bit of the newspaper sitting right above me.
How he manages to make sense of it & see beyond the apparently obvious state of total chaos is beyond me.

He knows the questions in my mind.
He has been there.

He tells me, lovingly as always.
To be patient.

To stick to doing what I think is right.
To harbour no ill for anyone.
To dirty not my thoughts, deeds, actions or words.
To fret not, revel not, pride not, gloat not.
To continue doing good.
To believe in myself.

He has taught me a lot. My father. Everything I am, I am because he is.
I know him, I know what his mind thinks. I know what his heart craves.
I just wish I can be that. Get that. Put it all at his feet.
It would be an iota of what he has done to nourish and continue to nurture my sorry state of existence.

He knows where I am headed. He knows what I think.
He warns me of the consequences.
He just wishes the best for me.

He has taught me a lot. My Father.

He has taught me so much, sometimes I fail to recollect it all together in one piece at the right time.

But then there are some things I was BORN with.
Or so they say.
So they all say.
That I am destined for some things.

I fear nothing in this world, but to fail my father. For he is my God Almighty.

But then, my heart drums a different beat.
I have my goals. I have my visions.
I feel I have my purpose.
I have a different destiny.
Is it the warm young rush of blood to my head that makes me think such things?
They really just seem to keep coming and every around just seems to think its great!

But me? I am hesitant. I know not if I am willing to pay the price.

But above all, I know not if what my father taught me will suffice.

Because the world I see, tells me about everything my father never taught me.

He taught me that Life is priceless. The most valuable.
But it just doesn't seem so!
People today are willing (or rather do) to kill for the most minuscule of reasons and costs.

He taught me that Duty & Honesty come first. We must serve as it is our profession. We must be able to sleep easy with a clean conscience every night.
I wonder is that why the sale of sleeping pills is steadily on the rise?
Do all those people I read about force themselves to sleep or is that their conscience is differently tuned than ours?

He taught me that it is the Long Term result, the fruit of your labour takes its time. You must keep working in the direction. Short term short cuts bear short term rewards.
How 'long' is long in today's times where all definitions have changed?
Long distance is no more long distance.
Long Life isn't Long life !!!
Earlier one could start enjoying the fruits and live a grand life post 50.
Hell today I don't know if I will live to be 50 !

He always taught me to respect the values, principles, culture and ethics.
Examples were always Tata, Birla, Mahindra, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar and so many more personal ones.
But it was Reliance that got down cell phone costs. It was Reliance that gave best returns to their share holders. Today I can see their downfall. But I still don't see JUSTICE.
I am yet to see the Cycle of Karma complete itself in MOST cases.
I am yet to witness the PayBack !
Yes, the dangerous path beckons & tempts.
But my father never taught me to Yield.

He always taught me to courteous, chivalrous, considerate and caring.
But He forgot to mention that the man standing near the door of the local train is not his son, neither did his father teach him that.
Ditto for the ladies whom I allow to board a bus ultimately end up pushing me out.
Or for the man in the queue ahead who will keep shoving you no matter how polite you are.
Or for the staff in most government run organizations.
Infact the only staff that is courteous to you is the one you are heavily paying for: be it at a really expensive hotel or a hi-fi bank.
They are polite because you pay for them to be.

He never taught me to cheat,
never taught me to close my eyes and pretend that its okay no matter what I do
never taught me to not feel a bit for other's and their sufferings
never taught me to be rash and force my right of way
never taught me to manipulate people and lie left right and centre to get done what I wish
never taught me to sulk or demand everything that I feel I should own
never taught me to be so selfish, self-centred and self-absorbed in my own life that I don't give a damn rat's a** about others
never taught me to be pompous, proud or porcine
never taught me to kiss butt and fan egos
never taught me to let circumstances dictate my principles
never taught me that money is the sole currency.

Why Dad?

Why did you never teach me all that?
Then even I could belong in this world and not feel an alien.
Then even I could mix about with the 99.5% of the people on this planet.
Then I would not have to hunt for the 0.5% of the world with whom I can connect, feel, share and interact with. (Thank YOU for being there all you people ... and those who know, know whom I am referring to)
Then I would not have to wonder all this.

I would not have to wonder ... Will I teach my KID what you never taught me?
Will I teach him what I learnt?

you DID teach me:

to BELIEVE in myself.
To believe in what I dream. 
To dare to achieve what I think.
To trust.
To love.
To fear nothing, not even God, but to fear fear itself.
To fall and yet to rise.

You by example taught me what it is to be a Father.
What it is to be a Homoeopath.
What it is to live a life by the principles to believe in.
What it is to be HAPPY.

So I guess that answers what I will teach my kid.
Homoeopathy taught me that there will ALWAYS be different individuals.
I must learn to accommodate them all, love them all, heal them all.

Now the only question left to see...
is will I achieve what I dream to be?
Will I get on my eyes are set?
Will this world, this teeny weeny mini world around me be what I dream, hope and try to make it to be?
Will I live upto your expectations and all of those that are set upon me?


But wait, based on all that I have seen, heard, felt, learnt.
The Time to come will give a resounding YES.

So the actual question is...

How much TIME ?



bijal mehta said...

hey suraj its just tooooo good....ur dad must b really really proud of u....i just loved it

Dr. Suraj A. Dhirwani said...

Thanks a lot Bijal.

So sweet of you.

Glad you liked it.

Thank you.

grazilia said...

Thanks Suraj...for pouring your heart out :) it was a pleasure to read.I don't know if I'm in the 0.5 per cent but the thoughts's great to have a destination ..but i hope ur able to enjoy the ride too :D

Dr. Suraj A. Dhirwani said...

Thanks a lot Grazilia.

I, ofcourse enjoy the ride.

You can tell by the way I enjoy my treks and my long road trips.

Infact the entire fun is in the ride,
the destination is often over-hyped.

Rather for me,once I am at a destination, there is a brief moment of happiness, satisfaction & the taste of victory.
After that I am just itching to get out and try & reach the next destination.

The ride calls...

Life is an open road for me....
Bryan Adams.

Moonstruck.... said...

Hey Suraj great write-up man, could feel the 'straight-from-the-heart' quality about it..keep it up..Good Luck on your journey!

snehal said...

This article is a reflection of who u are...every word speaks of ur persona...that which comes from ur father....u who is the horizon in his life, and the one who brings warmth and strength with his matter how gloomy the evening, how dull the night...the sun will never fail to rise...u'll always be his son...and shine like the sun....God bless u....stars r many...but there can be just one Sun...thus u dont fit into the 99.5 % category...

Dr. Suraj A. Dhirwani said...

@ Snehal:

Thanks a lot Sneh.

Words I will cherish forever.
Thank you!

sunil kumar said...

i do not know whether ur dad taught u all this step by step as attributed by u
he really gave u the depth of life
very nice flow of thoughts....

sunil kumar said...

my first day with ur blog is thru Trekking moments by aashish chawla

i really missed alot allthese years

Dr. Suraj A. Dhirwani said...

Thank you very much Mr. Sunil Kumar for your kind words of appreciation and for taking such efforts to read through my blog.
Keep reading and looking forward to your comments.
Thank you.


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